I saw Beyoncé during the worst year of my life
How ironic is it that I saw my idol, Beyoncé, live during one - of two - worst years of my life ?
I had a terrible 2022 because of a psychotic break and suffered the consequences all throughout 2023, whether it be missing out on events, gaining a lot of weight, being depressed or having to retake my final year of school.
I have constant flashbacks of this horrible time, at least the bits and pieces I do remember. I had a huge black out and don’t remember what feels - and almost is - a whole week of my life. At times it felt like I was actually dying. But RENAISSANCE is about rebirth, about living life freely, unapologetically, and without judgment. Although Beyoncé created a safe space for all, and especially the LGBTQ community, with her album, tour and now movie, the world isn’t such a kind place. Navigating it is an emotional roller coaster, even and maybe especially when you’re on meds.
I cried when Queen B graced the stage in Paris last May, cried while she performed the first couple of songs and I cried again last night as I saw her masterpiece of a movie about the tour. Beyond being THE Beyoncé, she has been my favorite artist since I was 8 or 9 years old (I am now 25 years old) . She is most definitely the artist of my life and honestly I feel like we should all be grateful to walk this Earth at the same time as her.
Yesterday, when I watched the movie I was sitting in the center of the movie room and for a while it seemed like the whole thing was playing just for me. That’s what I love about this project : it makes people who allow it feel special, U-N-I-Q-U-E and understood while still including everyone else. It makes you feel alive. It made me believe in life in a time where I thought a lot about giving up on it.
The RENAISSANCE by Beyoncé truly has been a rebirth for me as I navigate life after a traumatic experience. Beside my wonderful family, friends, that one English teacher, and TeaMarrr, Beyoncé is surely the person I owe my renewed “joie de vivre” to.
I am sooo grateful for those who have helped me through the most difficult time of my life. If you are one of them and reading this, know that, as B would say, I love you deep deep deep. I will keep pushing through.